...Floating along as a melody comes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~City of Devils

Man once sang to me
Look at you saving the world on your own
And I wonder how things gonna be
As the time here passes so slow

In a city of devils we live
A city of devils we live

Find somebody to learn
Boy, you gotta love someone more than yourself
I can feel the fire of the city lights burn
And it's hard to find Angels in Hell

Flying alone
And I feel like I don't belong
And I can't tell right from the wrong
And why have I been here so long?

In a city of devils we live
A city of devils we live

Questions I can't seem to find
To the answers I already have
And you can't see the sky here at night
So I guess I can't make my way back

Flying alone
And I feel like I don't belong
And I can't tell right from the wrong
And why have I been here so long?

What if I wanted you here
Right now
Would you fall in the fire burn me down
If I wanted you here
Right now
Would you fall in the fire burn me down
If I wanted you here
Right now

In a city of devils we live
a city of devils we live
a city of...

Flying alone
and I feel like I don't belong
and I can't tell right from the wrong
and why have I been here so long?

I don't belong
don't belong
I've been here too long
too long

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Martin Sheen or JFK

Here it is
One more glass for these broken hands
Goes down for you
I've fallen in
I sink then swallow
I never meant
To see this through

All the days
Since I've landed
I lost the way
To find my truth
You float away
And leave me stranded
What's left to say
I'll hurt for you


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~How I Go

I could tell you the wildest of tales
My friend the giant and traveling sales
Tell you all the times that I failed
The years all behind me
The stories exhaled.

And I'm drying out
Crying out
This isn't how I go

I could tell you of a man not so tall
Who said life's a circus and so we are small
Tell you of a girl that I saw
I froze in the moment and she changed it all

And I'm drying out
Crying out
This isn't how I go
Hurry now
Lay me down
And let these waters flow
Flow...

Son I am not everything you thought that I would be
But every story I have told is part of me

And you keep the air in my lungs
Floating along as a melody comes
And my heart beats like timpani drums
Keeping the time while a symphony strums

And I'm drying out
Crying out
This isn't how I go
Hurry now
Lay me down
And let these waters flow...
Flow....
Let it flow, let it flow

Son I am not everything you thought that I would be
But every story I have told is part of me
Son I leave you now but you have so much more to do
And every story I have told is part of you

Back Home ~~~ Yellowcard

Don't know... what I was looking for when I went home, I found me alone
And sometimes... I need someone to say, "You'll be all right. What's on your mind?"
But the water's shallow here and I am full of fear, and empty handed after two long years
.
Another sunny day in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance to feel it
..
Back home I always thought I wanted so much more, now I'm not too sure
Cause sometimes I miss knowing someone's there for me and feeling free
Free to stand beside the ocean in moonlight
And light myself a smoke beneath the dark Atlantic sky
..
Another sunny day in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it
.
Everybody here is living life in fear of falling out of line
Tearing lives apart and breaking lots of hearts just to pass the time
And the eyes get red in the back of your head, this place will make you blind
Put it all behind me and I'll be just fine
.
Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky
Sometimes I wish that it would rain here
And wash away the west coast dreaming from my eyes
There's nothing real for them to see here
.
Another starry night in Californ-i-a
I'm sure back home they'd love to see it
But they don't know that what you love is ripped away
Before you get a chance, before you get a chance to feel it
.

las mejores Fotas

faltan + personas, pero no tengo fotas de ellas...


^___^

amigos y momentos... los mejores recuerdos

BCR

De vuelta caminaba. BROKENHEARTED. Por la lluvia que la acompañaba en el frío y vacío caminar que la atragantaba. Y no sabía que la mantenía caminando; solo por inercia muda en catarsis. BEATEN. Seems like I fail everytime, because I am of no use anymore.

because I need you more…than you need me
because I want you more…I know

because we move too fucking fast
I think I really had to…wish to make this last, I know

I'm sorry please forgive me, believe me if you would

because I cared…way more
because I really felt that…you felt so much more, I know

I'm sorry please forgive me, believe me if you would
I'm sorry please forgive me, believe me if you could
I'm sorry please forgive me, believe me if you would
I'm sorry please forgive me, believe me if you could
...believe me if you could

Ya cansada y empapada, llega y al día siguiente, no olvidaba, tendría que asistir a la universidad y despertar a las 7.05 de la mañana. A las 11 logró por fin cerrar los ojos, que apenas se abrieron al momento de despertar, un segundo antes que sonara la dichosa alarma, sin antes haber pasado la ininterrumpida noche con la visita del dolor de contracción (era solo otro calambre) que parecía cada vez castigarla más. Y dolía como nunca. IMPOTENCIA. Oscuro día de lluvia. Sola y sin motivo despertando, para recibir a su ‘madre’, sin expectativas, como siempre lo fue desde que recuerda…Y en el momento en que se ve caminando, luego de dar un portazo por la intolerancia de escuchar más mierda sin sentido, recorre las calles para asistir a clases. Llega empapada luego de los clásicos veinte minutos hacia el paradero. Congelada hasta los huesos, sigue lloviendo el interior y el exterior. Pero con el nuevo día no esperaba lluvia. Un fútil y absurdo intento era alimentarse de la desesperanza, angustia y rabia que surgían de solo pensar que a, diferencia del resto, su realidad era contar con la presencia de alguien que no podía siquiera pensar que una caminata sobre la lluvia podría ser intercambiable por cuatro minutos en auto y quinientos pesos en bencina. (‘si quieres te los pago’… –qué risa-). Otra de las razones para el orgullo y la autosuficiencia. Y entonces todo es mi culpa (ojalá me equivoque yo algún día…doy gracias porque sabré admitirlo). Para qué pensar en el frío, si ya estaba resfriada. Qué importancia tiene acudir a clases, qué son esos números que uno pareciera ganar con esfuerzo, cuando tu mente no da más de extenuación. SOULLESS BODY. Me cambian por esa gente incompetente que no sabe qué es esforzarse, que le dan todo, que no les es negado por lo que luchan? …No son días de mierda. Díganme quién le sigue el juego a la realidad después de seguir años cayendo en el mismo hoyo. Y me preguntan porque ya no tengo hambre…por qué ya no me importa cruzar apoquindo al medio de la cuadra en roja en noches nubladas. And sometimes I think, y qué hago en este lugar si las luces me dicen que me rinda…me quedo colgado y no voy a donde pertenezco.

caught off guard…all worked up
the air is as dark and cold as night
let me go…I'm not done
I swear I'll take this one lifetime

and I
I won't lie
I won't sin
maybe I don't wanna go
can't you wait
maybe I don't wanna go

I should've asked…I could've helped
at least a fucking thousand times before
will this offer…get me in
or does it prove that they gave more

and I
I won't lie
I won't sin
maybe I don't wanna go
can't you wait
maybe I don't wanna go

and I
I won't lie
I won't sin
maybe I don't wanna go
can't you wait
maybe I don't wanna go

and I
I won't lie
I won't sin
maybe I don't wanna go
can't you wait
maybe I don't wanna go

Y me preguntan por qué soy pesimista y por qué soy resentida social. Y me preguntan por qué soy tan risueña e infantil: que no demuestro mi madurez, sino una sonrisa para alegrar a los demás.

Porque siento.

***

when all else fails it fails

y se congelaba, y se negaba, y se miraba hacia la nada, y se miraba las gotas que comenzaron a caer. como la coincidencia de los finales atemporales de los cuentos que solía escribir.
el súbito despertar de la locura, que es lo único cuerdo en una realidad construida. recuerdos como sueños, segundos como escenas, aire como obstáculo.
ahí sonó mil y una veces aquella canción, sin siquiera poder apagarla.

ya sabemos lo que es. vuelta a los momentos más álgidos, por la presión que escapa del cuerpo, ya lejos de los límites. sumidos en la conciencia de este poder experimentar y la incapacidad de adecuar la sensación.

mere humans...no more, no less.
kitto yume wa...kore.

'Say It Like You Mean It'

We're too afraid to close our eyes
Afraid that we might drift and lose track of the time
The brilliant lie blanks my blind
Sends ghosts back to their graves and us back to life

I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Over and over...over and over
(just say it like you mean it)

The best is when you say the worst is over
It's like saying we had luck with a three leaf clover
And you kept saying that over and over
And I still catch you looking over your shoulder
And it's okay, I know the only times you really loved me
Were the times when you weren't sober
And that hurts
We all hurt...we all hurt
And I kept saying that
Over and over ...over and over
(just say it like you mean it)

For the taste
For the sight
For the sound
For the fight
For the weak
For the strong
For the light

Say it like
You say it like you mean it

For the wait
For the crush
For the fear
For the lush
For the love
For the hate
For the touch
Just say it like

I will wait out for you
I will wait out
Over and over...over and over
Just say it like you mean it
Just say it like you mean it
...

***